Meltdowns are a struggle that many parents with autistic children have to go through. It’s not always easy to know how to handle them - whether it’s a manipulation or a genuine emotional and sensory overload. It can be frustrating and upsetting for both parent and child. However, with a little bit of understanding, patience, and some strategies, it’s possible to help your child through these challenging moments. In this post, we will share some helpful tips for navigating meltdowns and supporting your autistic child.
Understand Where They’re At:
It’s important to understand that when an autistic child has a meltdown, they’re not doing it to manipulate you. It’s their way of coping with the overwhelming emotions and sensory stimulations that they’re feeling. The first step to supporting them is to come to terms with this fact. Recognize that their brains are wired differently; therefore, their interactions with the world are going to be different from others. Once you can do this, you can start supporting them better.
Stay Calm:
When your child has a meltdown, it’s essential that you stay calm. This is not always easy, but it’s so important. Take a deep breath, evaluate the situation, and your mental state before you address your child's behaviors. Your child can’t calm down if you’re not calm. In our previous podcast, we talked about taking time to destress and provided strategies to help you relax and stay calm. Once you feel more stable, you’ll be better equipped to help your child de-escalate.
In Public:
Meltdowns may happen in public, which can be embarrassing and uncomfortable. It’s important to focus on your child and not bystanders’ reactions. They may stare or make comments, but focus on helping your child through the moment. If you have a sensory toolkit, it can be fruitful to use it during these times, as it could help your child regain a sense of control. It’s also important to stay away from punishments during and after the meltdown, as your child can’t control what’s happening to them.
Let Them Have Their Meltdown:
Unfortunately, meltdowns happen, and sometimes you may just have to let them finish. Making sure that your child is safe during this time is critical. Ensure that they’re not hurting themselves or others. Remain close by offering support and comfort once the crisis passes. It’s okay to acknowledge what happened and reassure them that you're there for them.
Teach Them Coping Strategies:
Once they’ve calmed down, it’s useful to teach your child coping strategies, which they can use to recognize their feelings before they escalate. Deep breathing, counting, and visualization techniques are great calming strategies that you could use. You could also teach your child how to express their feelings through communication or physical activity such as drawing or bouncing on a trampoline. This will help them identify and regulate their emotions, increasing their resilience to future situations.
Navigating meltdowns can be challenging, but with the right approach, it’s very doable. As a parent, you must understand that your child's behaviors are not motivated by manipulation; it’s critical to stay calm, focus on your child's needs, and eliminate punishments. Inevitably, some meltdowns happen in public, and it’s crucial to acknowledge your child’s feelings and focus on keeping them safe. Once they’ve calmed down, teaching coping strategies will help them avoid future overloads. Remember that autism is a journey for both parent and child, and showing your child empathy and a supportive environment helps them face this world with more positive self-esteem and mental health.
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